{"success":true,"message":"Server is running","data":{"status":"barely-alive","uptime":"99.9% (if you round up aggressively)","services":{"database":{"status":"crying softly","latency_ms":420},"payment_gateway":{"status":"vibing","latency_ms":69}},"server_temperature":"Too hot to touch 🔥","mood":"🫠","fun_fact":"Once routed a ride through a cow field. Rider gave 5 stars."}}